I am so proud to announce the upcoming publication of my new book!
The Promise of Women’s Boxing: A Momentous New Era for the Sweet Science will be published on June 4, 2024 by Rowman and Littlefield. It is available for preorder now at the link: preorder – Amazon
Two-time Olympic Gold Medalist and three-time undisputed champion, Claressa Shields has graciously written the forward.
Overview
The book provides a timely exploration of modern women’s boxing, from its first inclusion in the 2012 Olympics to today, featuring such trailblazers as Katie Taylor, Amanda Serrano, Claressa Shields, and more.
On April 30th, 2022, the first boxing super-fight of the era, headlined by two women and fought at Madison Square Garden, lived up to its hype and then some. The two contestants fought the battle of their lives in front of a sold-out crowd and garnered 1.5 million views through online streaming. It was the culmination of a long, three-centuries arc of women’s boxing history, a history fraught with highs and lows but always imbued with the heart and passion of the women who fought.
In The Promise of Women’s Boxing: A Momentous New Era for the Sweet Science, Malissa Smith details the exciting period from the 2012 Olympics through the true “million-dollar baby” women’s super-fights of 2022 and beyond. Rich in content, the stories that emerge focus on boxing stars new and old, important battles, and the challenges women still face in boxing. Smith examines the development of the sport on a global basis, the transition of amateur boxers to the pros, the impact of online streamlining on the sport, the challenges boxing has faced from MMA, and the unprecedented gains women’s boxing has made in the era of the super-fight with extraordinary seven-figure opportunities for elite female stars.
Featuring the stories of women’s boxing icons Katie Taylor, Amanda Serrano, Savannah Marshall, Marlen Esparza, Mikaela Mayer, Natasha Jonas, and more, and with a foreword by two-time Olympic gold medalist and three-time undisputed champion Claressa Shields, The Promise of Women’s Boxing offers unprecedented insight into the incredible growth of the sport and the women who have fought in and out of the ring to make it all possible.
Reviews
Malissa Smith has written a compelling book on the progression of women’s boxing, showing us the grit, determination, and perseverance that took the sport from the first ever inclusion in the 2012 London Olympics to today’s era of mega-fights.— Sue Fox, founder, Women’s Boxing Archive Network, International Women’s Boxing Hall of Fame
For anyone who follows and enjoys women’s boxing—this is the perfect book for you. It’s not just history and facts; this book is also full of stories and in-depth examinations. Malissa Smith did a terrific job! — Jackie Kallen, boxing manager, 2024 inductee to the International Boxing Hall of Fame
Malissa Smith has given readers a very accurate accounting of women’s boxing. From the Olympics to selling out Madison Square Garden, she has revisited the history I’m proud to be a part of. — Christy Martin, retired boxing champion, 2020 inductee to the International Boxing Hall of Fame
Malissa’s grasp of, eloquence on, and in-depth research into the continued resistance of change to 3-minute rounds for women is equally fascinating and disheartening. A must read for anyone interested in gaining insight into women’s boxing. — Alicia Ashley, retired boxing champion, 2023 inductee to the International Boxing Hall of Fame
There is no one more knowledgeable about or dedicated to women’s boxing than Malissa Smith. Without bias, Malissa is able to translate her passion into words that satisfy an enthusiast while appealing to occasional fans. A must read for any diligent sports enthusiast. — Jill Diamond, WBC co-chair of the Women’s Championships, WBC International Secretary, Global Chair WBC Cares
Malissa Smith is the ultimate chronicler of women’s boxing. Her new book details the last dozen years, during which fighters like Claressa Shields, Katie Taylor, and Amanda Serrano have not only evened the playing field, but at times outperformed their male counterpart — Steve Farhood, boxing analyst for Showtime and 2017 Inductee International Boxing Hall of Fame
Malissa’s effort to document the journey of women’s boxing is nothing short of titanic. In a world where stories are told in spurts of 280 characters on social media, Malissa takes the time to delve into the struggles of every fighter, and she takes us along for a ride that is rich in both journalistic rigor and historical accuracy—with her gift for storytelling making it a pleasure to read. — Diego Morilla, writer, editor, and moderator for the Women’s Ratings Panel, The Ring magazine
Malissa has captured the wonderful growth of women’s boxing in her book The Promise of Women’s Boxing. She highlights how quickly the women have become a major force in amateur and professional boxing. And in many cases, the women overshadow the men. — Bruce Silverglade, owner of boxing’s world-famous Gleason’s Gym
Malissa Smith’s comprehensive analysis and understanding of this very important period in the evolution of women’s boxing makes for a terrific read. — Lou DiBella, President, DiBella Entertainment, 2020 inductee to the International Boxing Hall of Fame
For more information link to Rowman and Littlefield website for more information:
ZUMA Press/Newscom/File
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., was first and last an American patriot. As he stated in his Letter From A Birmingham City Jail,
I have no fear about the outcome of our struggle in Birmingham, even if our motives are at present misunderstood. We will reach the goal of freedom in Birmingham and all over the nation, because the goal of America is freedom. Abused and scorned though we may be, our destiny is tied up with America’s destiny. Before the pilgrims landed at Plymouth, we were here. Before the pen of Jefferson etched the majestic words of the Declaration of Independence across the pages of history, we were here. For more than two centuries our forebears labored in this country without wages; they made cotton king; they built the homes of their masters while suffering gross injustice and shameful humiliation -and yet out of a bottomless vitality they continued to thrive and develop. If the inexpressible cruelties of slavery could not stop us, the opposition we now face will surely fail. We will win our freedom because the sacred heritage of our nation and the eternal will of God are embodied in our echoing demands. Link Letter from a Birmingham City Jail, April 16, 1963
Months later in front of the Lincoln Memorial, Dr. King continued to profess his belief as a patriot, “I still have a dream,” he said. “It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.” Link I Have A Dream Speech, August 28, 1963.
Even in his last speech in support of striking sanitation workers at the Mason Temple in Memphis, Tennessee, the night before he was assassinated, Dr. King, harkened to his deep belief in the American experiment:
Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation. And I want to thank God, once more, for allowing me to be here with you. Link I’ve Been to the Mountaintop, April 3, 1968.
Today marks Dr. King’s 95th birthday. Would that this great patriot were alive today to give us his wisdom, faith, and profound belief in democratic principles.
The inclusion of women’s boxing in the Olympics at the 2012 London Games brought a lot of hope that the sport would begin to flourish anew. Gold medal winners Claressa Shields, Nicola Adams, and Katie Taylor, however, did not begin to cross the threshold of the ropes as professionals until after the 2016 Rio Games. That left the pre-Olympic-era pro boxers continuing to push for opportunities in a sport that was capricious at best when it came to promoting female fighters.
The International Women’s Boxing Hall of Fame (IWBHF) recently honored one such boxer, the Brazilian-American retired champion Melissa “Mighty” McMorrow (10-7-3, 1-KO), inducting her into its Class of 2023 at the “Night of the Stars” 10th Anniversary ceremony held on October 7, 2023, in Las Vegas.
A pint-sized World Fly titlist from Northern California who stood all of four feet, eleven inches tall, McMorrow boxed professionally from 2008-2018, with a career that straddled the era. The post-Olympic period in particular saw her fight in a succession of bouts in Mexico, including a successful second campaign to win the WBO World Fly title she’d had to abandon earlier in her career.
McMorrow, who has spoken often of her life-long love of athletics, was an All-American soccer player at Pittsburg, Pennsylvania’s Carnegie Mellon University, where she graduated with a Bachelor of Architecture degree. She also joined the Women’s United Soccer Association as a player in the United States and Brazil until the association disbanded.
Searching around for another sport, McMorrow eventually chose boxing when she was in her 20s. Jumping in full throttle after starting to train in 2005, she began competing in the amateurs in 2006 and even lost to Marlen Esparza in the 2007 USA Nationals in Colorado Springs and again in 2008 with the same result.
Choosing to turn professional shortly thereafter, McMorrow fought a total of eight straight bouts at venues across her native California. She accumulated a 4-1-3 record through May 2010. Her ninth clash, and her first outside of her home state, was in February 2011. The prospect of a coveted fight night took her across the country to New York City. There she faced Keisher “Fire” McLeod (Wells) (8-3, 1-KO) on a DiBella Entertainment-Broadway Boxing card at Times Square’s B.B. Kings. McLeod stood 5’8” tall and towered over McMorrow, who, none the less, demonstrated a decided effort to fight aggressively on the inside. McLeod won the six-rounder on the cards, but McMorrow gave the crowd a gritty and entertaining performance.
Having proven her mettle as an opponent, she came back to the Apple in June to battle a popular local favorite, Eileen “The Hawaiian Mongoose” Olszewski (11-7-3, 1 KOs). The fight was an eight-round title bout for the New York State Fly Championship. McMorrow was also expected to lose against Olszewski, but pulled out the mixed decision win, 78-74, 79-73, 74-78, to capture the title, showing similar aggression and strong defensive tactics while continuously taking the fight inside.
Getting the call again, McMorrow defended her championship belt five weeks later, at the end of July, in an eight-round rematch against Keisher McLeod. McMorrow, ever the aggressive fighter, used her strong inside game and superb defense to avoid the much taller fighter’s jab-right hand combinations. McMorrow’s toughness gave her the “and still” moniker with another mixed decision win.
The strength of these battles gave her a chance to fight in Mexico as an opponent against Arley Muciño (32-4-2, 11-KOs) for the WBA Interim World Fly in February 2012. Though she lost on the cards, it did bring her more attention, netting McMorrow the opportunity to fight the reigning WBO World Fly and WIBF champion, Germany’s seemingly unstoppable Susi Kentikian, who sported a 29-0 record (with 16 wins by knockout) going into their main event battle on May 16, 2012.
Televised on Germany’s Das Vierte channel, McMorrow shocked the world with a mixed decision win on the cards, 94-96, 95-95, 94-96. It also brought her a payday a little south of $10,000, quite unheard of for an American fighter except overseas. With the win, she came into the mix alongside Ava Knight (20-2-5, 5-KOs) and Mexico’s Mariana “Barbie” Juarez (55-13-4, 19-KOs) as elite flyweight fighters.
McMorrow began to actively campaign for a title bout against Ava Knight, to whom she’d lost in the amateurs, including a Golden Gloves championship fight broadcast on Comcast nationally from San Francisco’s Third Street Gym.
Knight was asked her preference for a potential matchup with either Juarez (whom she eventually defeated) or McMorrow, saying at the time, “I think Mariana would be tougher. Her style and experience may outweigh a pushy style for me. I’ve met McMorrow in the ring three times (as an amateur) and already know my strengths over hers. She may have changed a bit and become more of a brawler, but that is my opposition of choice. They are both game, and hopefully we will be meeting them soon in the ring.”[i]
Pundits also felt the Knight-McMorrow showdown would be a logical home-grown match, while acknowledging that both fighters were only gaining traction for big title fights on the road. McMorrow had managed to have her first WBO defense in the United States at the Kissimmee, Florida Civic Center, in October 2012, where she defeated Yahaira Martinez (7-4, 4-KOs) by TKO in the ninth round of their all-action bout, which was also one of the rare female boxing matches televised on the Spanish-language Telemundo channel.
McMorrow’s next defense, however, was back on the road the following March in Germany. She faced the German fighter, Nadia Raoui (15-2-1, 3-KOs). The match itself was another tough battle where McMorrow’s aggression showed through, including an extraordinary punch output per round and her signature inside fighting. She prevailed again by split decision, 94-96, 96-94, 91-99, retaining her title, and earning a purported career high pay day of $15,000. She’d also fulfilled the second of her two-fight deal with Germany’s SES Boxing promotion company, which meant she’d need to seek out her next title defense with a company at home.
Having earned that amount for a bout did not, however, mean that she could earn a living as a professional boxer, pointing out, “There’s just no money in boxing. I could never really justify leaving my job [as an architect],” adding, “It seems unfair that men get paid a lot more. Especially when I feel there would be a draw.”[ii]
As if to bring home the point, boxing writer and pundit Mark Jones put it this way: “Current, American [professional] female fighters, even those that are highly rated, are regional attractions having to travel abroad to participate in prestigious fights. In 2013, the following world class, American-based female fighters fought outside the United States: Diana Prazak (Sweden), Melissa Hernandez (Canada), Alicia Ashley (Mexico), Ava Knight (Mexico), Melissa McMorrow (Germany), Carino Moreno (Germany), and Tori Nelson (Bermuda).”[iii]
Knight remained elusive, however, and after losing a WBC World Fly title to Ibeth Zamora (Silva) (33-8, 13-KOs) in 2013, she had limited opportunities to fight at all, with just one just one bout in 2014 and none in 2015. McMorrow, who fought from 108 to 115 pounds, already experienced the difficulties of finding fights in the United States, especially in the smaller weight classes, telling an interviewer that many of the titles at that size were held by Mexican fighters. “The WBC is doing a lot to promote women’s boxing, and so [Mexico] is the place where things are taking off the most… if [fights] come up, I want to take them.”[iv]
She also had to give up her WBO belt a year after her successful defense against Nadia Raoui, as WBO rules required a defense within a one-year period. “No one in the top-10 wants to fight me unless we have money, which we don’t. It is a losing proposition because it is a risky fight for them for little or no money.”[v]
This harkened back to fellow Californian Kaliesha West (17-2-3, 4 KOs). She’d been willing to retain her WBO World Bantam title at all costs in 2011, even ceding what little money there was to her opponent, Ava Knight, in order to keep her status as a champion.
McMorrow did get to fight Mariana Juarez in her next bout held in February 2014, battling for the WBC International Super Fly championship in Mexico—having already given up on finding the funds necessary to promote the WBO bout. McMorrow easily switched between her inside and outside game with effortless fluidity throughout the fight but lost the bout on the cards, with all three judges agreeing on the 94-96 score in favor of Juarez. At least one outlet called it the robbery of the year, along with grumbling from other quarters that proclaimed McMorrow the winner.
The controversial loss to Juarez was followed by another close decision defeat in August 2014 for the vacant WBC International Fly title against boxer Jessica Chavez (32-5-3, 4-KOs). Of the fight she’d said, “Chavez is a good fighter and we fought a fairly even fight. I think I was the aggressor and landed the harder cleaner shots. I wanted to make the fight very decisive since I know that the judges will not work in my favor, but she did a good job of keeping her distance from me. However, I think I deserve the decision as much as she does. It is frustrating that when I watch the fight I can only claim rounds that are undeniable and she gets credit for everything else.”[vi]
Otherwise taking her fourth Mexican fight night in stride, however, McMorrow had been invited to attend the first WBC Women’s Convention held in September. There, she’d been promised a shot at the WBC Fly title, but that did not actually materialize until 2018.
Her next match offered her the chance to regain the WBO World Fly belt. Traveling again to Mexico, she came in as the opponent against the lethal Kenia Enriquez (27-1, 11-KOs). Enriquez had won the vacant WBO title with ease when she defeated Ana Arrazola (28-17-3, 14-KOs) by unanimous decision in November 2014.
In the ring against Enriquez on February 28, 2015, McMorrow fought in her typical come-forward, aggressive style, prevailing with a split-decision on the cards after ten grueling rounds. McMorrow exuded joy at being announced the winner, a vindication of sorts for having been stripped of the title the year before and for other losses she’d endured in Mexico.
“Honestly, I was surprised that Kenia picked such a big fight [for] her first title defense … And the only thing I can think, is that they just completely underestimated me.”[vii]
Still, what she wanted was the Ava Knight fight, if nothing else than as a coda on her career but the fight that might have been, never happened.
McMorrow battled on with two more fights. What turned out to be her penultimate bout was a 2016 non-title ten-round loss on the cards against the experienced Esmeralda Moreno (35-12-2, 11-KOs) in Mexico City. For her last bout, McMorrow finally fought for the long-promised green-belt fly championship. The match against Ibeth Zamora was set for May 5, 2018, also in Mexico City. Coming off an eighteen-month layoff, McMorrow was less successful at pushing the fight inside. She fought tenaciously, but Zamora’s stinging power proved the difference, which allowed her to earn the unanimous decision win.
Back in 2014 ahead of her battle against Jessica Chavez, McMorrow had said,
“In order to compete in a sport like boxing, you have to love it. It is very difficult to train as I much as I do, and to look after your weight, etc. Sometimes I ask myself why it is so important to me. It sometimes seems really silly … I strive to be good at whatever I do and I hope that when I’m done boxing, a little piece of me will stay with the sport and people will remember who I was …”[viii]
McMorrow retired from boxing with an outstanding record of achievement. She’d had spectacular wins, but the seeming promise of increased opportunities with the coming of Olympic competition for women’s boxing did not really materialize for her. Outside of the small circle of boxing aficionados, she never gained the appreciation nor the opportunity to fight the big bouts at home in the USA, even after such Olympians as Claressa Shields, Marlen Esparza, and Mikaela Mayer were gaining traction on fight cards and on television beginning in 2017.
As with most things in the sport, the usual answer is, “that’s boxing.” One thing is for certain: McMorrow’s induction into the IWBHF will ensure she will always be remembered for her accomplishments in the ring.
Notes:
[i] David A. Avila, “Female Flyweight Division Opens Up With McMorrow’s Win Over Kentikian,” The Sweet Science, tss.ib.tv, May 19, 2012.
[ii] “Fighting like a girl: Bay Area boxer wins world championship,” Eltecolotate.com, March 25, 2015.
[iii] Mark Jones, “The Sweet Side of the Sweet Science – 2013 Year End Reviews & Awards, KO Digest, fitefansho.blogspot.com, January 3, 2014.
[iv] ITRboxing, Melissa McMorrow ‘I want my WBC title shot then Ava Knight fight.,’ ITRboxing, Youtube.com, January 3, 2015.
[v] “Melissa McMorrow: A Lifetime of Breaking Barriers,” University Athletic Association, uaasports.info, October 6, 2016.
[vi] Press Release: Mighty Melissa McMorrow, WBAN, womenboxing.com, August 29, 2014.
[vii] “Fighting like a girl: Bay Area boxer wins world championship,” Eltecolotate.com, March 25, 2015.
[viii] Malissa Smith, “Melissa McMorrow Seeking Redemption in Mexico: Exclusive Q and A,” Girlboxing.org, August 14, 2014.
In a recent conversation with my dear friend Achim whom I had not seen in many years, I was reminded of the impact 9/11 had on all of us who called New York City our home.
He lived in the West Village in those days a couple of blocks from the Hudson River. His memories were filled with the shock of the experience, but also of how community had grown. He’d walk with neighbors to the West Side Highway to cheer on the workers making their way to the still smoking pile of concrete, glass, twisted steel; the tomb of the people who’d never made it out of the towers. His particular group moved to exuberance through their tears as turning back in silence, duty done, they’d walk back in a funereal silence.
Watching the towers as they collapsed was a waking nightmare in real time. Experiencing the incredulity that something so mighty as the twin towers could evaporate in seconds, one after the other, imploding as an accordion pancaking in on itself. The mind playing tricks, thinking, “What will it be like to have only one tower?” before the second one collapsed a mere thirty minutes later.
I saw it from my daughter Izzi’s window on Sackett Street in Brooklyn to the south west of the towers. My view of the tip of Manhattan unobstructed where the pair of buildings had always stood as an edifice of my New York.
There are days when I cannot fathom much of the world that has grown in the space of the buildings’ absence. What I am grateful for is to still be here along with my fellow denizens of New York who call the City our home.
How Boxing Uncaged Me is an essay I wrote for the new compendium, THE DIFFERENCE: Essays on Loss, Courage, and Personal Transformation. The brain child of editors and contributing authors, Achim Nowak and Rosemary Ravinal, the premise was to curate a series of essays that had as their focal point the deeply searing experiences that made a difference in how we lived the rest of our lives.
For me, that difference was of all things boxing. Since childhood I had a fascination with the sport watching the fighters of my era, Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, and Ken Norton, on the flickering lights of my television. It took me a life time, however, to finally enter a boxing gym.
“No more excuses,” I said aloud to myself, on a crisp clear day in early January as I made the sojourn to Gleason’s Gym.
With the low wintry light streaming in through the line of grimy windows facing the street, I was immediately greeted by the owner of the gym. Bruce Silverglade, seated at a desk near the entrance. A chessboard in mid-game took up a corner of the desk.
“Hi can I help?” Bruce asked.
I introduced myself and within seconds he was up and out of his seat and touring me through the cavernous expanse. As the sights and sounds hit my senses, calm descended. I had found my place.
Learning the mechanics of the sport, however, was the least of my journey through boxing. It brought me the courage to write. To go back to school to complete my Bachelor’s Degree in my 50s. To go on to a Master’s Degree in Liberal Studies. And to take up the sport of women’s boxing as a cause worth fighting for including writing the first comprehensive history of the sport.
The discipline of boxing is and continues to be another dimension:
If there is one thing boxing taught me, it is that fear and the accompanying self-doubt has been, and continues to be, my nemesis. It lives with me as a shadow being that I face down every time I glove up. I know it from the tears. The ones that still well up when I haven’t given myself the self-care I deserve. I know it from the places where new scar tissue has formed from hurts that have gone unanswered.
I am also humbled by the care and dedication Nowak and Ravinal have shown in selecting the essays for the collection–with stories about loss, courage, and personal transformation that have meaning across all of our lives.
The stories have inspired me as they have overwhelmed me with gratitude for having been chosen alongside my very humble efforts at exploring the impact boxing has had on my life.
As a writer, a caregiver, and all the other roles I embody on a daily basis, I am particularly proud of being given the chance to explore how the thread of the sport I love has woven its way through all of those experiences.
Thank you, as always, to the boxing community for continuing to embrace me and call me one of your own.
Time is a foreign country.
At least I think it is.
Days meld. As does the precise time on the clock. From intense activity to drift, with Jed in a place outside of time, outside of locale, outside of the ordinary and the distinct.
In the journey that is my caregiving world, I work hard to lean in. To accept the tickles and jokes. The multitude of “I love yous'” that come my way across the day and the night. In between sleeping. And wondering who is in the house and where the bathroom is.
I feel for his dislocation, but he takes it in stride. Smiles. Says, “is anyone here?”
I say, “No.”
“You mean it’s just you and me? Yay!”
My heart smiles and aches. Just us and not us.
We’ve been out a bit.
Mani, pedi, haircut and shave day. And a lovely walk. Pizza. The weather fine. Observing flowers. The new green of Spring leaves. The many, many babies out and about in their strollers.
This last his joy.
New life. Flowers. Babies. Toddlers. Children.
He lies down on what used to be Izzi’s bed as I work at my mother’s old sewing table on the other side of the room.
Jed and Sugar Ray.
Pals.
Sharing the space. The company. Being near. Our little family with Milo our other kitty off somewhere … and Izzi long since on her own … though one of us, always, on her visits home.
Doctor’s appointments, medical tests, companion caregivers come and go. Days blend some more as do the new normals. With me forgetting, two Fridays in a row that it was a companion afternoon. And, truth be told, my joy as I opened the door. Whew. A free few hours. Hours I worked on my book about women’s boxing before taking a lovely unfettered walk.
And now a Saturday. Jed full of the need to sleep. On his bed. In the room where I work. Padding in and out. Before he’ll organize his books and and clothing for the umpteenth time.
“It’s me again,” he says, standing at the doorway.
“Hi,” I say.
“Goodbye,” he says walking off to the living room.
Budding tree, Cadman Plaza Park, Brooklyn, March 2, 2023
I’d say my vision has certainly been selective of late. Well actually that’s pretty charitable. I’ve been downright sad with a tinge of hopeless, which means the exterior world has a way of disappearing. Too difficult to negotiate with feelings that make it almost embarrassing to speak any sorts of truth. Even to those closest to me or to the folks I know who are caregivers and connect to those feelings more often than any will say.
Staying present is this issue for me.
If one is present in one’s emotion, that means leaning-in to sadness or anger or general grumpiness or happiness or joy … the full gamut. Being present in joy brings bits of euphoria, of seeing a full world of shimmering glory. Even the potholes of life. The bumps in the road. The little imperfections. All take on the caste of beauty. Of wholeness.
When in the ooky doldrums of a mental flu, not so much. And for me it’s the biggest trap. It’s when I go silent. When my world view shuts down. When the out there of day-to-day life separates itself from the interior floods of anguish or rage or any other state that isn’t perfected as a shimmering … yes joyful … reality.
And them I’m alone in it. Unnamed. Unknown. Emotions buried with little bits of leakage that come out disguised in a hail of intolerance. In why me-isms. In do-I-have-to-isms. When really I’m sad because my darling man just asked me if we were really married.
I had nodded my head. Started to tell the story.
He professed a lovely surprise that we’d been together for 26 years. That we’d married each other the first time on the top of a mountain in Jordan 25 years ago; had done it with a Rabbi and a New York City marriage license, a second time, 23 years ago at a decommissioned Synagogue on the Lower East Side.
How it had been the wedding of the decade with waiters so cute everyone fell in love with them.
How our friend Ray started out with Mozart and segued to Sentimental Journey as we walked down the aisle. How our recessional became a Conga line to a 1930s recording of a Cuban band.
How the magic of the place gave our Rabbi visions of its glorious past, channeling its former Rabbis and Cantors as he intoned the beautiful words of our marriage ceremony.
All of that in a moment. One I feel now. Much removed. Three weeks later. Tears in my eyes, thinking about loss and gain. About the lovely smiles on my darling man’s face as I told him the story of who we were.
Caregiving for a dementia patient is a mixture of joy and cruelty.
My glorious man tells me he loves me all the time. Middle of the day, middle of the night, opening a bathroom door, as I am washing dishes.
What isn’t there is the connective tissue of our 26 years. The good of them. The rough patches. The sharing of life and one’s deepest thoughts and feelings.
That’s what I am mourning lately. What feels so hard and interrupts my day-to-day. The connections that bind. The reality of loss. And why, at times, I just don’t want to see.
Caregiving for a dementia patient is not for the faint of heart–but you are not alone. There are organizations that can provide a lifeline to caregivers from groups to engage with, to real help finding resources. Here are few to consider (click on the name to open a new tab).
Family Caregiver Alliance – Frontotemporal Dementia Resources
In New York City – Caring Kind
WBA champion Erika Cruz and WBC, WBA, IBF, champion Amanda Serrano fighting for the undisputed feather (126) title in MSG’s Hulu Theater on February 4, 2023. Photo credit: Ed Mulholland/Matchroom
MSG’s Little Theater — these days under the moniker of the Hulu Theater is a fun venue for boxing. Back when the Daily News Golden Gloves was a New York fixture every April, the stands would erupt with cheers as this or that young man or woman entered the ring in blue or gold.
The nice thing is there really is no bad seat, whether for an amateur or professional night of boxing, even way up in the back in the “300” sections, one can see, and it’s often where the true partisan cheers and flag waving abounds.
Last night was no exception. The Puerto Rican flags were in abundance waiting for Puerto Rico’s own (by way of Bushwick, Brooklyn), Amanda Serrano, and her main event fight. An undisputed contest for the feather (126 lbs.) championship.
The Amanda Serrano/Erika Cruz fight was at the top of a nine-fight card — made all the more special by the fact that it contained two undisputed women’s bouts and three undercard female “baby-belt” bouts.
France’s Elhem Mekhaled in the fight of her life against Detroit’s own Alycia Baumgardner who prevailed through ten grueling rounds to become undisputed champion at junior lightweight (130) on Feburary 4, 2023 at MSG’s Hulu Theater. Photo credit: Ed Mulholland/Matchroom
The co-main event featured Alycia Baumgardner contesting for her chance at an undisputed championship against Elhem Mekhaled, who was previously unknown to most fight fans in the United States.
Baumgardner who had defeated Mikaela Mayer on the all-female card in October at London’s O2 arena, came not only to fight and win, but to prove that her family’s deep legacy in the sport of boxing culminates in her as an exemplar of excellence and her and her family’s dreams.
Sitting with Marian “Lady Tyger” Trimiar and boxing writer Chris Benedict, MSG Hulu Theater, February 4, 2023.
Sitting for a time with boxing legend, Marian “Lady Tyger” Trimiar brought home just how far the sport has come. Lady Tyger began boxing as a teenager and first applied for a license in 1974 back when even amateur fighting was denied to women. She was finally able to become a licensed professional in New York State three years later. Boxing in earnest for no money to speak of ($1,500 was a lot) and in places like California which had a modest if growing boxing scene for women in the late 1970s and early 1980s, Trimiar went so far as to stage a hunger strike in 1987 to help garner support for women in the sport.
Still, she never imagined it would come this far, and watching so many fights at such a high standard of excellence brought solace of a sort, knowing that her battles on and off the canvas were important to the growth and acceptance of women inside the squared circle.
Certainly the sold-out theater — which is truly Amanda Serrano’s house, having fought there since her own beginnings in the Golden Gloves — gave truth to not only Serrano’s acceptance, but the notion that the fans came to watch excellent boxing … period.
For Serrano who made the point that she may be in a group of undisputed women champions, but she remains the only champion in seven weight classes; winning was the chance for her to revel in her achievement at the pinnacle of the sport.
Her next step was announced as she stood beaming in the camera’s eye — a second battle with Katie Taylor set for May 20, 2023 in Dublin, Ireland. She went on to say, “Katie Taylor is a true champion. She came over here. She deserves to have [the rematch] in Ireland.”
Befitting of a true champion — Serrano fighting Taylor will mean yet another first for both women, the chance for one undisputed champion to fight another in one or another’s weight class.
Thinking about Lady Tyger as representative of a lot of women who contested in the sport for the love of it, seeing Serrano and Taylor in the ring, the fans, cheering and waving, brought a deep sense of joy to my own heart. And as we exited, the latin beat pulsating, I felt exalted knowing that something really good had happened
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The results:
Amanda Serrano (USA) defeated Erika Cruz (Mexico) by UD, 97-93, 98-92 x 2. Serrano became the undisputed feather (126 lbs.) champion retaining her IBF, IBO, WBC, & WBO titles, and winning the WBA title from Cruz. Some pundits scored the fight more evenly giving a round or two more to Cruz who having sustained a deep cut from a head butt in the third round and was wobbled badly in the 6th round, put on a display nothing short of heroic.
Alycia Baumgardner (USA) defeated Elhem Mekhaled (France) by UD, 99-89, 99-89, 98-90. Baumgarder retained her IBF, IBO, WBC, & WB0 titles and won the vacant WBA title to become undisputed champion as junior lightweight (130 lbs.) Mekhaled went down twice in the third round but never quit till the last bell tolled. Baumgarder tired in the latter half of the fight in spurts, which may have meant the scoring should have been a bit more balanced.
Shadasia Green (USA) defeated Elin Cederroos (Sweden) by TKO at 1:08 of the 6th Round in their WBA super middle title eliminator. Green also retained her WBC Silver belt at super middle.
Ramla Ali (UK) defeated Avril Mathis (Australia) by UD, 99-91 x 3 (some thought this was overly generous). Ali became the IBF Inter-Continental Super Bantam title holder.
Skye Nicolson (Australia) defeated Tania Alvarez (Spain) by UD, 98-92, 97-93, 100-90. Nicolson became the WBC Silver Feather champion.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. shortly after his release from Reidsville Penitentiary, Georgia, 1960, Photo Credit: National Portrait Gallery, Smithsonian Institution, gift of Jack Lewis Hiller, ©1960 Jack L. Hiller
Today would have been Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s 94th birthday. Imagine that he would have been with us now. Our moral conscience. Our hero of justice. Our voice of truth…
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., gave his last speech on April 3, 1968 at the Mason Temple in Memphis, Tennessee. The following day, he was assassinated while standing on the balcony of his motel.
He had come to Memphis to support the city sanitation workers’ strike. He had been feeling ill with a sore throat and fever, but at the behest of the Rev. Ralph Abernathy, made his way to the Church and spoke in front of the enthusiastic crowd.
Prophetic born of tiredness and at times a despair, his final words reach us as the true pastor’s call to fight injustice everywhere no matter the consequences. The struggle remains … as does our profound debt to Dr. King’s sacrifice at the alter of truth and justice.
“Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!
Full speech here: Note it is audio only.
Paris-Brest for New Year’s Eve
I admit to a hard December. Everything out of sync. Stressed. Uncertain. Out of balance. Scared at the enormity of the challenge of caregiving. But finding joy. Moments of peace. Being present even when things felt chaotic. My therapist even asked me if maybe I was done because my goal of living in the moment of my emotions was reached.
I was, admittedly, taken aback.
“What? Finished?”
Reflecting a little bit more I said, “No. Not yet.”
That hesitancy was the realization that caring for one’s mental health is never over. And having that chance to dwell for 50 minutes every couple of weeks is like finding bits of gold panning in the stream of one’s own psyche.
And yes. I’ve been really depressed in my life so this all feels so normal. Sleep well and I have that much more opportunity for riding the ebbs and flows with ebullience, sleep too little and I’m grouchy and stressed. Pretty simple formula!!!
Meanwhile, in the real world of day-to-day … I have a book to write (I am behind), Jed’s health to attend to (Cardiologist on Friday), part time consulting work to augment the bills, and all the rest + those kitties.
Still. The New Year is a pause. A chance for something. A blank slate to relish in. Clean, unlined, and absent of any smudge marks from the erasures of the things one doesn’t feel inordinately proud of.
2022 was an enormous year for me. I can brag about getting a book contract for a new work on women’s boxing, a monthly column for my friends at Women’s Fight News, and a memoir piece to be included in a book called The Difference (working title), that will be published in 2023.
I also had a blast with my iconoclastic pals Chris and Eddie on our WAAR Room podcast and finished up a nine month mastermind group with dear friend Achim Nowak’s My Fourth Act,which brought me new connections and new friends.
As for 2023. So much to do! And not so much resolutions as a list of challenges!
I have so appreciated sharing the bits and pieces of my life-and all of you for reading them and giving of yourselves in your thoughtful comments and insights. I used to think I could do things alone. Perhaps a sign of finally growing up is knowing that I can’t.
Thank you all for teaching me that.
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and a fabulous 2023!
Vegan Creamed Chick Pea Vegetable Soup with roasted veggie garnish and chopped parsley
When in doubt, cook something.
That’s been my week.
Not writing. Barely researching. Angsting about everything and nothing.
And really. What does “you’re doing your best,” even mean?
This in an email note from a doctor as I reported out the latest of Jed’s symptoms. How he described himself as feeling “whoozy” again and needed to get back to bed. His heart rate hovering around 50 and even dipping a bit below. My doubts on full display, “showing my ass,” so to speak. How helpless I feel. Yes. He’s fine. Nothing we can do until the data from the Zio patch heart monitor he is wearing is accumulated and sent off next week. Then we can tell whether he really does have issues with his sinus rhythm.
All of this as I baked Jed’s “no knead bread” recipe. Starting it the morning before. Measuring the three cups of flour, 1/4 teaspoon of yeast, 1-1/4 teaspoon of salt, and 1-1/2 cups of water to get it started. Mixing it first with a spoon, and then with my hands. Enfolding it, feeling it coalesce, become a coherent bonded whole threading through my fingers, before carefully placing it to rest in a large bowl coated in extra virgin Kalamata olive oil. I think, “only the best for my Jed.”
Tear up thinking about it.
How hard this is.
How with the dough in place and rising across the day into night, Jed, had woken up at around 1:00 AM, unsure of how to go to the bathroom. I had a moment of cognitive dissonance, and then rose up and showed him the way as lovingly as I could with out a hint of judgement or despair or anything really. Knowing how he was entrusting me just in asking the question. Not wanting to appear “bossy,” his favorite term for me of late. Only to get the engine started a bit. Like cranking up an old Model T Ford car. Once the motor’s on it’s good to go, just needing the bit of a start.
Greek Fassoulakia with potatoes and kalamata olives
Lunch that day had been Greek fassoulakia: Green beans, potatoes, and kalamata olives in a tomato sauce with onions, garlic, basil, lemon juice, and a touch of cinnamon.
Comfort food for me. Shades of my 18-year-old self practically inhaling it off the plate whenever Nick’s mother Kalliope made if for us on the island of Rhodes in 1972.
Something yummy for Jed, as I’d taken him to Rhodes a couple of times, once in 1998, and once with Izzi in 2000–and where she started walking at 10-1/2 months. Ordered the dish practically every time we had lunch at a Taverna. Would mash it up a bit for her as we watched her smiling in delight with tomato sauce dripping down her mouth.
Later in the day, Jed was more of himself: Playful, funny, unworried about not having a clue. Enjoying the fresh soup I’d made in the morning to go along with the bread. Me dissecting the spicing (too much of the cloves) — him feasting.
“Hmmm,” he says, “the best I ever ate.”
And so it goes.
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Bradycardia (low heart rate) can cause confusion, dizziness and other symptoms, which can otherwise be challenging for a caregiver to interpret. This was only picked up on an ER visit as an incidental finding–and we still do not know if it, in fact, is the cause of Jed’s added confusion in the morning.
In researching the subject, I found a paper noting that bradycardia seems to have more frequency for frontotemporal dementia (FTD) patients with the behavioral variant, and thus something, FTD caregivers should be cognizant of.
For further information on bradycardia here are some resources (click on the item to open the link in a new tab):
Bradycardia in Frontomemporal Dementia
Strong evidence to links irregular heart rhythms to dementia
Sugar Ray, the pugilist Georgia street kitty by the window on a Brooklyn morning
Some weeks I just feel so whipsawed.
Apropos of a lot it turns out! Elections, being less than on target writing my new book (yes, yes, I will make it up, but oy!), circumnavigating the rise in hate speech everywhere it seems, my daughter’s great week starting a new job, so yes, lots of joy for her, installing safety rails (bed worked, toilet, no), housekeeping (don’t ask, had Jed and his companion vacuum yesterday as a “therapy” exercise!), lots of healthcare discussions re: upcoming appointments for Jed (success and a big thank you to Lenox Hospital Cardiac Electrophysiology for their kindness and attention) … and then me.
Yes. It is okay to ask, “what about me”!
Starting with the inventory, ’cause hey, can’t take the project manager out of me:
In the tradition of the don’t mourn, organize school of action, the best way I have found to move forward is to put the mechanisms for self care success into place.
Yes, an inventory helps, but one needs to really ensure the full picture is captured along with some thoughts on how to mitigate those areas that are clearly putting one’s mental health and well being in jeopardy.
Sugar Ray sleeping, Brooklyn window
Starting with sleep and knowing I must practice what I preach: it’s all about routine and creating an environment of calm and serenity along with ensuring one is adequately hydrated and not logy from having had a huge meal right before bed. One should also put away the smart phone, iPad, or whatever other electronic devices are overstimulating the mind with crazy short bursts of sound and light. No, one does not need to check Twitter at one in the morning or watch crazy YouTube videos or TikTok. Just turn it off–and if one must engage with something, go old school and read a book until the eyes go all swimmy and one drifts into restful sleep.
Another big one is time for oneself–and not only time, but meaningful time. Laying sprawled on the couch mindlessly streaming baking shows for hours at a time is not the answer. I can surely attest that the practice is just as addicting and mind-numbing as any narcotic and other than a lousy alternative to sleep, it does nothing for one’s state of mind. I am a huge offender of this one–not only seemingly watching, but simultaneously playing ridiculous games on my smart phone. It is the opposite of mindfulness or appreciation for the little bits of time I can have to myself, and decidedly not restful, in fact, quite the opposite. And no, that doesn’t mean I can’t watch the next episode of Andor (or equivalent show) when it comes on, but it does mean I shouldn’t obsessively and mindlessly watch three more hours of nonsense I cannot recall because my mind escaped into a video induced haze. The solution I am striving for is to actually schedule the time on a calendar. From writing time to sleep routines and so on. Given that the stratagem has had splendid results during my work life, why not use it as a tool to better organize my life into spaces that can provide me with solace and meaning?
As for living in the moment while actually experiencing the accompanying emotions — that’s a huge one. If one lives an “awake” sort of life, it is much easier to find, touch and be in those experiences, but again, that means taking a turn at mindfulness in a way that can difficult to do if one has been out of touch for a while. I’ve graded myself a letter grade of C in that regard, but I’ll actually tweak it to a C+/B- given that I do hit the mark from time to time and can recognize when I’m letting myself off the hook. The emotions around Jed’s fall swirled for days before I really landed in them, but as I write this, I know that the work of being in the moment had been at play in the background.
Just doing this bit of writing, and trying to reach out to readers whose lives are circumscribed lets me know that I am on a more positive path. And for those caregivers among you, I can only say that mindfulness, even in tiny spurts, does bring a kind of solace and peace that allows the smiles to come back, both inside and out.
I can’t say when I’ll get work out with my beloved Lennox Blackmoore at Gleason’s Gym or feel that I’ve got the self-care fully in place, but I can say it is a work in progress. And as with most things in life, that’s a positive in the scheme of things.
I had the honor of introducing the 16 inductees to the International Women’s Boxing Hall of Fame’s Class of 2022. Held at the Orleans Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas on October 22nd, the 9th class of inductees celebrated women’s boxing’s past and present in high style.
The brainchild of founder Sue TL Fox, herself an American pioneer from the 1970s when the denizens of women’s boxing went to court to win the right to box professionally, her insistence that women give themselves the accolades they deserve reverberates through the community.
Yes, we love that since 2020, women have been inducted into the International Boxing Hall of Fame in Canastota, New York. And that in Hall of Fames across the United States and beyond, women are taking their place for the brilliance of their achievements.
There is something; however, to that wonderful notion put forth by Virginia Wolfe, of having a room of one’s own. And whether actual or metaphorical, the sisterhood of brilliant athletes swapping stories is irreplaceable. This year’s class included Tori Nelson and Suzi Kentikian, boxers you may well have heard of, but it also contained Cora Webber who not only boxed in the 1970s, but in the 1990s to great effect. And men too, including Irish promoter Jimmy Finn, who along with 2014 Inductee Barbara Buttrick promoted the actual first all-female card in the UK in 1994; and Tom Gerbasi, who has led the way as a boxing journalist giving space to the stories of women in the ring since the late 1990s.
This year’s event was also held amid women’s boxing’s dazzling October.
The all-female Shields-Marshall card at London’s O2 Arena on October 15th was held in front of a sold-out crowd of 20,000 cheering fans, not to mention the 2,000,000 eyes that caught the broadcast of the card on Sky and ESPN+. The card delivered not only in terms of the number of fans tuning in, but the brilliance of the performances from one end of the card to the other. The Shields-Marshall fight itself, produced a fight of the year contender to rival the Taylor-Serrano bout on April 30th whose main-event battle was held in front of a similarly sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden.
What was notable, is that while Taylor-Serrano had 1.5 million views on DAZN, a full .5 million more viewed Shields-Marshall—to my mind, showing the strength of the Taylor-Serrano card to the women’s boxing “brand.” Afterall, it is highly unlikely that Bob Arum and Top Rank would have pushed to have their fighter Mikaela Mayer contest for the unified Super Featherweight title against Alycia Baumgardner, without the precedent of a sold-out Madison Square Garden.
Nor does it stop there.
Katie Taylor after her win over Karen Elizabeth Carabajal. Photo by James Chance/Getty Images
Consider Katie Taylor’s seemingly effortless retention of her undisputed lightweight crown and undefeated record against the mandatory Argentinian contender Karen Carabajal. Taylor led the card at the Wembley Arena—the very place where she had her pro debut. At that event, a mere six years ago, she walked out to nearly empty stands. At her homecoming of sorts, the cheering crowds floated her to the ring on a wave of love and admiration.
The two female fights on the undercard were also great action bouts showing off the prowess of Ellie Scotney as she pressured Mary Romero to a loss. And then there was the impressive professional debut of Maisey Rose Courtney, frankly one of the best I’ve seen, female or male. But think about that for a minute. She had her debut at Wembley Arena on a Katie Taylor card positioned as the swing bout leading into the main event.
Thinking about it more, Maisey’s entire boxing career has been informed by Katie Taylor.
Taylor’s amateur prowess and trailblazing amateur career provided Maisey with a goal to strive for. While her pro debut was on the undercard of a major fight by an undisputed champion in one of boxing’s more venerable arenas in the United Kingdom. This is Maisey’s world with the likes of Adam Smith stating Sky Sports commitment to putting on good cards as demonstrating “a move towards total parity and total equality in pay.”
The latter in particular remains to be seen. The boxing efforts on Saturday, October 29th across the globe; however, gave truth to the idea that parity and equity are long overdue. Consider Arley Muciño who wrested the IBF World Fly title from the Argentinian champion, Leonela Yudica, in a non-stop action fight at San Diego, CA’s Pechanga Arena and shown on DAZN. It should be noted it was Yudica’s 10th defense of the belt since she first captured it in 2014—a momentous upset by Muciño who had at one time held the WBO World Fly title. Announcing for the Golden Boy Promotions card was none other than current unified champion WBA and WBC World Fly champion Marlen Esparza, who immediately called out Muciño for a unification battle.
Let us also not forget that Yamileth Mercado successfully defended her WBC World Super Bantamweight title against the venerable Mariana “La Barbie” Juarez in her fourth defense of her title, her loss to Amanda Serrano in 2021, notwithstanding.
Those showings, the Taylor card bouts, and the women boxing at venues large and small establishes the sport has the potential for an even more magnificent future.
Let us all hope that actually comes to pass.
Caregiving for a person with any sort of cognitive degeneration is never for the faint of heart.
What’s breathtaking are the decision making processes one goes through for issues large and small. The hardest have to do with health and contending with making choices on behalf of another. At times it feels as if one is skidding across a slippery floor; stepping carefully but with uncertain footing–an apt analogy for the feelings of inadequacy that surface in the throes of working through the decision tree.
Meanwhile, I woke up at about 5:30 in the morning on Monday to the sound of a loud thud. The last thing I could have imagined was hearing Jed’s voice calling out, “help me, get an ambulance, call an ambulance,” in the saddest, softest tones possible.
I quickly surmised that he had either fallen out of bed or fell as he was stepping on to the floor. I’ll frankly never know, but on his way down, he sustained a small laceration on his ear, which bled profusely, along with a mixture of confusion and fear as he struggled to get up.
Helping him to the bed, my next task was to soothe him, while taking his vitals, dressing his wound, and eventually assisting him to the bathroom. Quite surprisingly, he was able to walk there and back on his own with a determined assurance. He was also able to communicate readily by that time, and with no obvious injuries other than his ear, I made the judgment call to forgo an ER run just then, in favor of letting him rest and get back to sleep for a while. I on the other hand, watched, fretted, listened to his breathing, and worriedly scoured the internet for all things falls and traumatic brain injuries.
About nine in the morning I left a message with his neurologist. I spoke with the nurse from the practice around one or so, and at that point, agreed to go to the ER to ensure there were no internal brain bleeds, et al. I had already been giving him a concussion protocol for a mild traumatic brain injury, (thanks to Izzi), but as he tends to be confused in the morning, following it was a bit tricky. He also noted feeling “fuzzier,” so going to the ER made sense at that point–especially since it was the same hospital chain as his neurology team.
A car service ride later, we were fairly immediately brought to a room in the facility, where he was promptly poked and prodded for a couple of hours including vitals, EKG, CT scans, and a full blood work up looking for signs of head and neck trauma, and potential causes for the fall.
Luckily, his brain did not sustain any injuries, but he did have a couple of anomalies in his bloodwork that I’ll be following up on over the coming days–reminding me how much I forget he is also a man in his 70s and prone to the vicissitudes of aging.
I should add a word about ER visits with a dementia patient. Impatience does not begin to describe what happens when the tests are completed. I also didn’t bring water with me (tip for the future)–so the grumps were exacerbated by a bit of dehydration until I grabbed some from a nurse. My challenge was engaging him in things to do while we waited for test results, so out came the iPhone with varying Spotify lists and YouTube videos. He found his favorite; however, on his own–folding his bed sheets, which gave him something to do for a good 15 minutes or so.
Once home, I’m not certain who was more tired, but we managed a quiet few hours. Izzi had joined us by then which gave Jed a wonderful boost, and afforded me a few minutes to collapse in bed.
I’m still assessing what happened and its meaning moving forward–aside from the knowledge that I need to figure out how to make the bed area safer, and really start to think through a better “to go” plan for any future emergency situations. I also always tend to think more about the effects of his cognitive decline and less so about the other things that might effect his health. And yes, I do have my work cut out for me to fortify those aspects of his care as even with once yearly visits to the internist, things happen.
Right now, I’m just taking some deep breaths and reminding myself that looking forward is always an unknowable set of possibilities that one must be open to. That, and a decent night’s sleep.
Girlboxing 