Tag Archives: New Year’s Resolutions

Of endings and beginnings … Welcome 2023!

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Paris-Brest for New Year’s Eve

I admit to a hard December. Everything out of sync. Stressed. Uncertain. Out of balance. Scared at the enormity of the challenge of caregiving. But finding joy. Moments of peace. Being present even when things felt chaotic. My therapist even asked me if maybe I was done because my goal of living in the moment of my emotions was reached.

I was, admittedly, taken aback.

“What? Finished?”

Reflecting a little bit more I said, “No. Not yet.”

That hesitancy was the realization that caring for one’s mental health is never over. And having that chance to dwell for 50 minutes every couple of weeks is like finding bits of gold panning in the stream of one’s own psyche.

And yes. I’ve been really depressed in my life so this all feels so normal. Sleep well and I have that much more opportunity for riding the ebbs and flows with ebullience, sleep too little and I’m grouchy and stressed. Pretty simple formula!!!

Meanwhile, in the real world of day-to-day … I have a book to write (I am behind), Jed’s health to attend to (Cardiologist on Friday), part time consulting work to augment the bills, and all the rest + those kitties.

Still. The New Year is a pause. A chance for something. A blank slate to relish in. Clean, unlined, and absent of any smudge marks from the erasures of the things one doesn’t feel inordinately proud of.

2022 was an enormous year for me. I can brag about getting a book contract for a new work on women’s boxing, a monthly column for my friends at Women’s Fight News, and a memoir piece to be included in a book called The Difference (working title), that will be published in 2023.

I also had a blast with my iconoclastic pals Chris and Eddie on our WAAR Room podcast and finished up a nine month mastermind group with dear friend Achim Nowak’s My Fourth Act,which brought me new connections and new friends.

As for 2023. So much to do! And not so much resolutions as a list of challenges!

  • Finish The Promise of Women’s Boxing (working title)!
  • Be more in balance with caregiving
  • Maintain my journal again (yep, been a while)
  • Write pieces for Girlboxing with more regularity
  • Be more consistent in the gym! Months cannot go by any longer!
  • Mindfulness in all things
  • Nurture my friendships and explore new ones
  • Expand the community of caregivers
  • Have fun

I have so appreciated sharing the bits and pieces of my life-and all of you for reading them and giving of yourselves in your thoughtful comments and insights. I used to think I could do things alone. Perhaps a sign of finally growing up is knowing that I can’t.

Thank you all for teaching me that.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and a fabulous 2023!

 

 

 

Now what?

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Okay. So Covid done and dusted. More or less. Still some dregs left. Like the leavings of coffee. Unpalatable but there to be dealt with.

Coming out of my cave, I walked into the cold temperatures of mid-January. Hurriedly paying monthly bills before due dates (those that aren’t automatically deducted), futzing with the plants that needed attending to, making a Trader Joe’s run, plus the hunt for more cans of grilled Fancy Feast cat food — a challenge as cat food seems to on the list of supply chain problem children.

And me. Still no gym (waiting for the dregs to leave). Trying to catch up on writing projects, which is slow going. Figuring out sleep patterns. Avoiding the heavy duty vacuuming that needs to be done. Chores and more chores interspersed with the things that keep me going.

Waking up to find that its January 13th is also to realize I missed the boat on New Year’s and things like New Year’s resolutions.

That was always such a thing. The short list of must-dos for the following year or at any rate, for the month of January into February, when it all felt so fresh.

List items such as: I will write every morning for 30 minutes, or I will practice yoga from 5:30 AM – 6:00 AM for 40 days, kind of my own personal Lent, if I were actually Catholic, but more to the point, liking the ring to the 40 days part of it. 

The truth is I don’t have the heart for it other than to say I want to wake up without worrying.

And maybe that’s a bit whiny. In fact it is. No mistaking it because I’m living a remarkable life. And what worries do I really have? Sure, Jed’s illness, but we have it covered, more or less. We have a lovely place to live. Food on the table. Medical folks who respond when I call. Pensions and health care and social security and a bit in the bank. Isn’t that enough?

So If I land on anything, it’s to say find joy. Live joy. Be joyful. The alternative is like the dregs … nothing we should have to use to define who and what we are.

Just joy.