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An interview with Chevelle Hallback, women’s boxing champion for the ages!

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An interview with Chevelle Hallback, Women’s Boxing Champion for the Ages!

Chevelle “Fists of Steel” Hallback  first laced up the gloves in 1996.  Given that women’s boxing didn’t have many amateur boxing opportunities, she dove right in and fought her first professional fight less than a year later in 1997, earning her first win against Connie Plosser. Hallback has fought continuously since then with an impressive 28-8-2 (11 KOs) record.

On March 2, 2012, Chevelle Hallback will do it again, fighting a rematch against Terri “The Road Warrior” Blair (11-15-3, 6 KOs) at the Civic Center in Tampa, Florida.  In a year of firsts, this will be the first female main event boxing match in the state of Florida, an honor bestowed on Hallback in her first fight fought at home since she began her professional career!

“I’m looking forward to fighting at home for the first time in my career,” Hallback is quoted as saying. “Terri and I had a great battle in 2007.  She’s fought the best, has never been stopped and I’m training hard to make this an exciting fight for all the fans.  I appreciate Terri for stepping up for this fight.”

The “must see” March 2nd card is promoted by Estrada Entertainment Productions in association with Tampa Baby Boxing Promotions and Reyes “Macho Times” Promotions. (Ticket information can be found at www.tampabayboxing.com.)

Girlboxing had the opportunity to speak with Chevelle Hallback who graciously took time from her training schedule to talk about her upcoming bout, her career and her hopes and dreams for the future.

1. You have a fantastic rematch coming up on March 2nd against Terri “The Road Warrior” Blair, what can you tell Girlboxing readers about this fight?

This is going to be a great fight!  This is our second time meeting and when I say her name speaks for itself, I mean she is a warrior.  She’s been in there with everyone that is a somebody in boxing.  I don’t think her record really speaks for her [11-15-3, 6 KOs] because she is an amazing fighter.  The truth is, she got the short end of the stick in most of her fights.

Our first fight [in 2007] was a hell of a fight. It was a tough fight. I came out with a win [78-74, 79-73, 77-75, 8×2], but it was a close fight.

With the upcoming bout, the first time I’m fighting at home, history is being made.  The first time a female fight will be the main event on a boxing card in Florida. I can’t ask for anything more. I’m just excited about it and grateful!

2. When you fought Blair in 2007, you were quoted as saying, “It was rough. She never hurt me in the fight, but after the fight, those body shots she landed bruised my ribs.”  What are you looking for in your rematch with Blair?

She is a “come get you”, “come right at you” style fighter, but I train for everything. I’ve found through experience that when you think a fighter’s going to come straight at you and you train just for that, they may switch it up on you fight night.  To prepare myself whatever they may bring, I fight for all different styles. I don’t know what Blair’s going to do this time around, so I’m training for each and every style of boxing that you can think of.

3. Your last two fights were in Europe against Miriam Lamare and Cecilia Braekhus, both great fighters in the female light welterweight division.  You’ve made it known that you are itching to have a rematch against Miriam Lamare after a controversial loss in November of last year.  How is that going?

Hallback vs. Lamare

I want a rematch with both, to be honest with you.  Right now, I’m starting out with Miriam Lamare, I really, really believe that I got robbed in that fight. I really believe that I beat her hands down.  The Braekhus fight, it could have gone either way.

I’m going after Lamare first. I personally asked her for a rematch, but I haven’t had any feedback. After the fight my boxing advisor asked the matchmaker of the fight could we have a rematch and he was like, “no,” at the time.

In terms of a rematch I want it.  I want to do this again. I went to her woman to woman. The fans want it, even her fans were saying that they wanted a rematch.  I feel that I was robbed, and I’ll even go back to France.  I just want the opportunity to get a rematch.   [See below for video of Chevelle Hallback’s fight against Miriam Lamare.]

4. Can you tell our Girlboxing readers a bit about your boxing career.

I started training on March 20th 1996 to be exact when I first went into a boxing gym, and I turned pro in 1997, I think it was February of 1997.  I’ve been doing this for a long time.  I don’t have an amateur background. I never fought any amateur bouts at all so it was on-the-job training! But I progressed fast.

I am a student of the game and I used to study fighters like Roy Jones, Jr. and old fighters like Sugar Ray Robinson.  I wanted to fight like them.  Fighters that had awkward and unique styles.

I’ve been boxing for a long time, but I never took any serious damage during my career and I thank God for that.

5.  What are your goals after you’re upcoming match against Terri Blair?

It’s been a long time, but my goal and my dream is to be the first woman to fight on HBO.  There’s never been a women’s bout on HBO, not even Laila Ali.   That’s my goal. I’m going to keep going till either one of two things happen:  I reach the goal or my body tells me it’s time to quit. Right now my body is not telling me that! Like I said, it’s a plan and a goal and I’m striving for it.

I also want to tell Girlboxing readers, no matter how old you are if you feel that you’re capable of anything you keep going pursuing your dream, because if you don’t you end up saying, “I wish”, “I coulda’ woulda'” and it’s too late.

6. You’ve also had an amazing several months because you started the Fists of Steel Boxing Academy, how is that going?

I just started it this past July and it is going great!  I love it!

With any business it takes a while for it to build, but it is coming along and I’m happy about it.  I have an amateur now and I have a pro fighter, I have my kids and I also have classes.  I even have a professional football player taking one of my classes and he loves it.

My amateur fighter, Rebecca just won a fight at the state level. I was very excited about that and my pro fighter will be fighting on the undercard of my fight against Terri Blair on March 2nd.

7. You’ve been in the sport as a pro since 1997 and you’ve witnessed a lot.  What are the two or three things that have really changed in women’s boxing since then?

Well, number one, women will be fighting in the Olympics!  That’s huge for women’s boxing!

There are more women fighting and it seems that there’s usually one women’s fight on every boxing card these days, especially when it comes to local shows because the women are as good as the men. And more females are getting involved too.

When I first started, I went to the amateur shows, but there was no one to fight.  Either they weren’t in my weight class or they didn’t have the skills. That’s why I turned Pro. Now the amateur shows are amazing.  There are many more women fighting and the turnout is much bigger.

We still have a long ways to go, but with the Olympics and with what I’m trying to do, we might get it to the half way point where it’ll tip over and get into the spotlight in a positive way … but from when I first started, there’s a huge, huge improvement.

8.  If I mention Chevelle Hallback to a room full of female boxers they swoon!  They don’t call you “Fists of Steel” they call you “Abs of Steel.”  You mean a lot to the sport and continue to inspire a lot of women from professionals on through “Saturday” boxers.  What do you tell your own boxers in the gym to keep them going?

First of all, especially when they come in, I ask them, what they want to do and what their goals are.  I then tell them what to expect and what the path they’re going to take will be. If they’re there for at least a week, I remind them of their goals and of what they first told me — when I do that I’m talking to them on the inside. It helps people. It is not an easy sport. Sometimes we have to bleed for it.

Most important of all though is when you say you want to do something and you’re determined, and you have it in your heart and in your soul to do it, and you go through whatever you have to go through to do it, at the end of the day you can say, “I did it.”

I think that’s the best reward that anyone can have.

You say, “I did it,” and no one can take that from you.  You can give a person a gold medal, or titles or belts, and they’re going to get old or vanish, but what can never be taken away is that you did it.  And that’s what I tell my fighters and that’s what I’ll tell Girlboxing readers.

9.  Do you have any closing remarks?

Yes.  Tell them, Chevelle Hallback is here — and I’m not only doing it for me, but for women’s boxing and for women to do this in the future, “big time”!

***

Chevelle Hallback vs. Miriam Lamare Rounds 1 – 8 (Fight starts around 12:00 and is in French)

Chevelle Hallback vs. Miriam Lamare Rounds 8 (end)-10

Stereotyping women and other issues in the fight game.

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Stereotyping women and other issues in the fight game.

Female Boxer in Pakistan, Photo Credit: Reuters

Watching how the mainstream media has grabbed a hold of women’s boxing as something to promote in positive terms is nothing short of marvelous.  Whether it is media in the US, Europe or Asia, however, questions of a women’s “place” in the ring still linger even as national teams ready themselves for the 2012 Olympics.

What I’ve found most interesting are the spate of recent media pieces coming out of Asia.  Here are a few examples.

Indian Boxer, Mary Kom, Photo: TOI

From India comes this story:

‘Stereotyping women cannot work anymore’ by a staff writer from the Hindu Times. And includes the following quote:

Stereotyping women cannot work anymore and men who claim that women cannot match their abilities are in deep trouble. Even those who choose to stay as homemakers can bring in value addition to their families.

From Pakistan:

Boxing: Women’s event planned amid hardliners’ wrath by Natasha Raheel for the The Express Tribune.

After being asked by the International Amateur Boxing Association (AIBA) to start a women’s boxing programme in 1996, the plan failed due to protests by hardliners who opposed the idea of females gearing up to step in the ring.

However, after a lapse of almost 16 years, the Pakistan Boxing Federation (PBF) – facing the rage of conservative groups but surrounded by talented women – has decided to hold exhibition matches in April.

From China by way of ABC Radio Australia:

 

Xiyan Zhang, Boxing for China, Photo: Zhenyu Li

China sets sights on Olympic Gold, ABC Radio Australia (with link to interview) by Huey Fern Tay.

TANG ERMIN (Translation): These girls who we’re training have a passion for boxing. In the past, these girls didn’t have an opportunity to participate. They could only watch the boys fight. They’re very focused on the sport now because they’ve been given the chance to become a boxer.

Living each day.

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Living each day.

Whether it is the dangers of the ring, such as the one that has seen Ishika Lay on her long road to recovery from second-impact syndrome, or something closer to home, such as the sudden illness of a relative or friend, living each day to its fullest is an important mantra:  even when that means walking away from the things we love to do.

That means not only pursuing your dreams, but knowing when to sit out because the risks are too great.

Have a headache after sparring that won’t go away?  Go and get it checked out and follow the mantra:  when in doubt, sit it out.

I know we all tend to ignore the long-term effects of our actions or even cast a “blind eye” to their very existence, but headaches and the like are also symptoms of acute problems that can be dealt with much more readily early on.  Sometimes it is only a matter of facing down the demons that seem to haunt us when we contemplate the “why” question that prevents us from taking the next step — say to a doctor’s office.  Not to do so, however, is to play a dangerous game of roulette with one’s own health and well-being.  It is also an example of breaking a cardinal rule that can best be translated as cheating at solitaire.

Here’s another one: Do you have indigestion every time you eat a slice of pizza?  Or in the absence of that, cough after every pasta or pizza meal?  Has it seemed to escalate at night lately, even when you don’t eat pizza? Go and get that checked! And P.S. … stop eating pizza and pasta till you know what’s going on.  At the very least you might have GERD (Gastric Esophageal Reflux Disease), but it also might mean (depending on your age), that you are starting to see changes to the actual make-up of your esophagus (Barrett’s Esophagus) which can lead to “no joke” complications.

I bring this all up because so many of us “live” with things that we think are nothing that end up being a big something in a hurry when we least expect it.  When that happens the effects are often horrendous, both to the individual undergoing treatment and to family and friends who suffer along with each bump in the road.

Athletes presumably have a great sense of their bodies – certainly of the cause and effects of too little sleep, poor eating habits and so on; however, that doesn’t always translate into evaluating the relative risks of injuries or of even recognizing that the twinge in a shoulder is really a rotator cuff injury about to blow.

That’s when we all have to take some responsibility not only for our own health and well-being, but for what we see going on around us by taking to heart the “if you see something, say something” mantra.  Sure, you might be accused of putting your nose into someone’s business, but you well might recognize something that your sparring partner just doesn’t see.

Part of living each day certainly translates into living it with gusto, but we also need to be cognizant of all the aspects of our day, even the things we’d rather ignore.  The problem is the things we ignore have a way of slamming us in the face whether we acknowledge them or not, and for my money, it’s better to face an issue head on than wait for the unexpected surprise.

***FLASH*** Girlboxing on the radio!

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***FLASH*** Girlboxing on the radio starting at 9:00 AM!

Girlboxing will be on the radio this morning speaking with John M. Phillips on his Courts & Sports radio show. We’ll be talking about head injuries in sport, Ishika Lay, her injury and recovery, Olympic Boxing and the first ever female boxing Olympic trials in Spokane, Washington, and maybe even a little about the Superbowl.

Here’s the link to listen in:  Court & Sports, WOKV

Job done and idling.

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Job done and idling.

As often happens after big events whether boxing matches won or lost or worse yet, called as a draw; or in the world of work where major projects are completed and all that is left is the mundane, the hardest part is pushing through to the next big moment, especially when there isn’t one in the offing.

That idle time aka “the devil’s workshop” can wreak havoc with your conditioning whether it’s your physical prowess in the ring or the mental gymnastics you apply to a new task, not to mention that steady spiral to that pesky inertia again where nothing seems to move and one feels wedded to nothing more than bad television, too much ice cream and an otherwise cranky disposition.

Rather like empty streets in the in the morning which one can walk around in at will with no one to jostle you or impede your way; the waiting period can be your opportunity to perform all those personal maintenance tasks you never get to. Such as … have you been to the doctor lately? Had your mammo, colonoscopy, bone density scan, round of blood tests? Okay, I know I’m revealing my age a little bit here, but you can get the point.  Had a massage?  Been to a museum? Cleaned out your closets?  Seen your grandmother? Started that blog? Wrote that short story? Signed up for a computer class?

We all carry our lists around of “things to do” whether it’s the daily list of chores of the pick-up dry cleaning variety or the larger ones that have to do with family, friends and importantly our own personal growth.

Given that I am in the middle of just such a period, I can really, really relate to anyone having difficulty getting “on the stick” so to speak. Suffice it to say, I am grateful to have the chance to write about it in Girlboxing, and thank you all for indulging me as I thrash about trying to get my motivation on!

I will say that while I haven’t quite made it to 300 sit-ups yet this week (I’m at 225 with 14 hours and counting till my midnight deadline), I have made my weekly goal of modified push ups — well, actually, I’ve exceeded that one: 60 = goal, 75 = attained.

Okay, we are not talking about a climb to the top of Everest or running a marathon, the little things do count towards the larger goals, even when those goals are not in focus. And sometimes, those little things add up to opportunities you never considered for yourself, and those sorts of surprises lead you right back to the winner’s circle again.

 

Road Trip

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Road Trip

I’m traveling up the Hudson River by train this morning from New York City to Saratoga Springs.

To say that I’m feeling footloose is not to fully appreciate how free I feel in mind and spirit. Perhaps it’s because I have two days off as a celebration of sorts: I’ve been invited to speak at my college to the incoming group of graduate students about writing the final project. I’ll also do a small presentation on my thesis, Boundaries in Motion: Women’s Boxing. It’s a lovely honor, one that I truly appreciate. Beyond that it means I get to talk about the wonders of women’s boxing as a metaphor for perseverance, hard work and effort, and the feeling of accomplishment that one can have at attaining a goal.

I also appreciate that it’s a good thing to revel in one’s own accomplishments from time to time.  So this is a bit of an “atta’ girl” to myself, which I figure that all of us need from time to time.  Meanwhile, I’ll get to hang out at the indoor pool or tool around the town of Saratoga Springs while the students are busy having their minds blown with all the dawn till midnight roster of activities that graduate school residencies are famous for.

I am talking true post-grad heaven here.

Otherwise, it’s on to the next goal!  Crunches on the train!

Wordless Wednesday, 2/1/2012, Summer Boxing.

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Wordless Wednesday, 2/1/2012, Summer Boxing.

Summer Boxing, Gleason’s Gym, 2011

Wordless Wednesday is a group of bloggers who give words a rest once a week.

Miracles happen, Ishika Lay on the road to recovery!

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Miracles happen, Ishika Lay on the road to recovery!

Back in October at the 2011 PAL Championships as Ishika Lay lapsed into a coma in critical condition at St. Vincent Mercy Hospital in Toledo, Ohio, her family, friends and the boxing world worried that she might not recover.

Ishika Lay in Recovery, Photo: Florida Times Union

Ishika Lay, a consummate athlete who had been well on her way towards a berth in the upcoming Olympic Trials, has turned the proverbial tide, and while she has lost her shot at representing the United States this year, she is well on the way towards recovery nearly four months later.

It is believed that Ishika Lay suffered from Second-Impact Syndrome. While not as well-known as other head injuries, Second-Impact Syndrome occurs when an athlete already reeling from a blow  actually succumbs to a second blow days or even weeks afterwards. As in Ishika Lay’s case, she had taken a shot while sparring ten days before, and had even complained of headaches, but had otherwise not been encouraged to see a doctor or in anyway treat her symptoms.

In her first PAL bout, the likely winner of the contest, she was never hit hard, but athletes suffering from Second-Impact Syndrome can fall horribly ill even from the lightest of impacts due to the fact that their brains haven’t had a chance to recover from the initial impact. This is the likely scenario that felled Ishika Lay.

As noted in Garry Smits article entitled Women’s Boxer Ishika Lay recovers after coma,  the mantra “when in doubt sit it out,” must become the new normal in boxing.  In Ishika Lay’s case, while it would have meant disappointment at being scratched from her PAL match, she wouldn’t have otherwise undergone her life-threatening ordeal.

Thankfully, Ishika Lay is on the road to recovery with thrice weekly rehabilitation on an outpatient basis at a hospital near  her home in Florida, and lots of additional therapy at home with her mother.

Girlboxing sends lots of love Ishika’s way with the sure knowledge that she is being remembered in a lot of prayers.

Links:

Women’s Boxer Ishika Lay recovers after coma (Florida Times Union.com)

Second Impact Syndrome (Good overview from sportsmd.com )

Second Impact Syndrome (National Institute of Health)

Women Box!

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Women Box!

Bertha Aracil, Photo: Sue Jaye Johnson

The specter of the debut of women’s boxing at the upcoming 2012 Olympics has led to a plethora of interest in the sport!

“Women who box love it for the same reason guys do, boxing requires intense physical and psychological discipline, the ability to overcome fear and anger.” – Morning Edition

Franchon Crews, Photo: Sue Jaye Johnson

This weekend NPR opened a series on women’s boxing which aired on Sunday’s Morning Edition. The piece is wonderfully affirming and I encourage everyone to listen to it and to read the accompanying article.

The first installment, entitled ‘I Am A Boxer’: Fighter In The Ring, Lady Outside It  includes sensitive interviews with boxer Bertha Aracil and other fighters vying for an Olympic berth at the upcoming Olympic Trials in Spokane, Washington next month.  The piece also gets to the heart of gender, an issue that continues to dog the place of women in the sport.  The series is co-produced by Marianne McCune and photographer Sue Jaye Johnson.

Link: ‘I Am A Boxer’: Fighter In The Ring, Lady Outside It (First installment)

Link: Why Would A Woman Box (Article published on WNYC’s website)

Sue Jaye Johnson’s video and photo essay, Bout Time in The New York Times Magazine section was also published yesterday and is another “must read” piece.

Link:  Bout Time

Oh, and in case you need any reminding, women have been boxing for a LONG, LONG time. The following is from Pierce Egan’s book Boxiana: Or Sketches of Ancient & Modern Pugilism, published originally published in 1830!

Facing the new.

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Facing the new.

Marlen Esparza, Photo: Rose Arce/CNN

I liken a fight to a blank page. Entering the ring, a boxer’s body and mind stand at the ready as so many remembered movements much as a writer sits poised with words and syntax.  It’s what happens next that is remembered. The boxer will engage in an improvised pas-de-deux with her opponent while the writer will engage her thoughts and ideas to fashion words into hoped for coherent and readable prose.

Given that I am wearing my writer’s mantle today, I am trying to work through the momentary panic of that blank space.  As with any creative endeavor — whether the improvisation of a boxer’s dancing feet or a trumpeter’s trill — the way thoughts form on the page seem miraculous.  Yes, they are based on deep knowledge of words and syntax and perhaps even a clear “plan” of attack likened to a boxer’s plan to stick and pull back, or the trumpeter’s competencies with B-flat.  However, the blank page of a writer can also represent the open road without a road map.  It is the moment of facing down newness. Words without a plan. A space that can take a writer anywhere the imagination feels like going.

Such is my day today.  My writing has no agenda.  Like shadow boxing on a Monday night without a trainer, I can take it where ever I want it to go.  I can stick with one thing or write tons of fanciful little ditties.  Such is my luck today — even as I swallow back that momentary taste of bile that anxiety always seems to bring!

 

Big days, little days.

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Big days, little days.

Some days are filled with big things and others have the “usual suspects.”  The same it seems with working out: peppy for two or three training sessions in a row and then the dogs. We’re talking no energy, no pop and not so much going through the motions as just having no energy to get where you want to go!

I had one of those mornings at Gleason’s Gym today.  Sure, I did my sweet 16 (four rounds each of shadow boxing, pad work, double-ended bag and speed bag), but did I ever have to work for them.  Lennox kept shaking his head saying, “wake up, girl!” And maybe that helped because I did manage to bring it towards the end with two hopped up rounds on the double-ended bag and some serious da-da-da-da / da-da-da-da on the speed bag.

In analyzing it later, I realized that part of the problem is I’m still not doing enough during the week to keep the momentum up for a meaningful Saturday session.  A clue on how to do that in an otherwise busy life came from my old Peace Corps buddy Mark who had a post on Facebook today proclaiming that he’d hit his goal of 1,000 sit-ups in a week.

I thought, “1,000!?!  That is a lot!.”  Breaking it down to daily increments, however, brought it more in line with what actual humans can achieve! Reading further, Mark wrote about his formula for success: starting at just 130 for the first week until he had brought himself along to 1,000.

Given that I struggled through my 100 sit-ups this morning at the gym (having only done 20 all week) — it occurred to me that if I followed Mark’s formula of defining weekly goals, it might get me off my tush and into a regular daily sit-up routine. Not wanting to set the mark too high for myself the first week, I’ve settled on accomplishing 300 between Sunday and Friday.  That means 50 a day — meaning about 10 minutes!  Seen that way, there is no way I shouldn’t be able to achieve it.  The same thing for push-ups — or my version of them which means on my knees or against a bar at this point.  Sure, I did 20 today at the gym (in two sets of 10 each), but it was hard and strained my shoulder.  So there again, I’ve decided on setting a goal between Sunday and Friday.  I’m staring off with 60, that means 10 a day — or another 5 minutes a day at most!

Summed together, if I give myself a mere 15 minutes a days, I can meet my weekly goal and have sacrificed nothing. No excuses here!

Kudos to Mark for a great idea!

Itching to fight in the Olympics!

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Itching to fight in the Olympics!

Claressa Shields (r) and Andrecia Wasson, Photo: Sue Jaye Johnson

What with the first-ever Women’s Boxing Olympic Trials set to commence February 13, 2012 at the Northern Quest Resort outside of Spokane, Washington, it is wonderful to see the media begin to wake-up to the wonders of these remarkable young athletes.  (BTW, click here for ticket information.)

This seven-day event will feature 24 athletes competing in the three Olympic weight classes:  featherweight, lightweight and middleweight, in a double elimination format.  Winners, one from each weight class, will earn the right to represent the United States in what USA Boxing has called “the lone international Olympic qualifier, the 2012 Women’s World Championships” set to occur in May in China. In order to qualify for the Olympics — they will have to have landed in the top eight!

Recent press articles and pieces have included the following all of which are well worth the read!

The New York Times has a piece by Sue Jaye Johnson entitled, Bout Time.  It features video and slide shows of three Olympic hopefuls: Claressa Shields, 16, Flint, Michigan, Alex Love, 22, Monroe, Washington, and Tiara Brown, 23, Fort Myers, Florida. The images are just great.  The link is here.

Tyrieshia Douglas, WNYC, Sue Jaye Johnson

WNYC-AM radio has put together a series entitled Women Box: Fighting to Make History, that includes two slides show pieces. Boxing Toward the Olympics features a mix of four wonderful photos of Olympic hopefuls.  Tyrieshia Douglas offers a 16-slide photo essay of her efforts. All of the photos are by photographer Sue Jaye Johnson.  WNYC will also host an event at The Greene Space in New York City on February 10 featuring a conversation about women boxers with Rosie Perez, a 16 year old Olympic hopeful and a four-time world champion.

Queen Underwood, The Spokesman Review, Dan Pelle/AP

Seattle’s own Queen Underwood has featured in an article in the Seattle Post Intelligencer entitled Seattle boxer preparing for U.S. Olympic team trials for women’s boxing  by John Blanchette.  The piece gives an overview of what Queen has been up to in her quest for a lightweight berth.

Meanwhile, we all still await the AIBA’s final decision on whether boxing skirts will be a necessary part of their uniforms.  As if!

 

Smelling the roses!

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Smelling the roses!

“Where has the day gone?” seems to be a popular mantra lately.  Just replace the word “day” with “week” or “month” or “year” and one sees a snapshot of how most of us interact with our daily lives.  We perceive of ourselves as working too hard with too much to do and have a language that reflects our sense of how so much of our days are spent in unwanted toil.

The classic example is the expression “hump day.”  For the nine-to-five office workers that means Wednesday, an otherwise stalwart of elevator conversation as in “well at least it’s hump day.”  This presumes a sort of misery in the world of work that carries over into the too tired, too grumpy, not enough time mindset of after-five, when one’s world seems to revolve around commuting, grocery shopping, making dinner, engaging with children at varying levels — and oh yeah, interacting with one’s significant other who is often in the same place.

I guess I’m on this theme because I find myself fighting the trend. I’m literally trying to smell roses when I find them — and if they’re not there, the memory of when they are in bloom.  My favorite spot is about two blocks from my house.  In the summer and well into the autumn they form a lovely banister of color as I make my way to Gleason’s on Saturday mornings.  I’ll walk along past the Farmer’s Market and there they’ll be, dozens and dozens of pink roses with deep pink tinges in varying states of bloom, some tiny and forming, others full, and still more languidly open drawing in the last drops of sunshine till they fade and fall.

I bring all of this up because I feel that many of us forget that there is beauty in the little things.  Perhaps even in the things one sees everyday:  the way the light hits the array of plants in someone’s office window, a co-worker’s twinkle at regaling a story of her infant son’s smile, the triumph in someone’s eyes after completing 300 sit-ups.

All of these things are reminders that life is made up of moments: some are lovely and some are admittedly hard to grapple with or even sad, but still, they make up the textured interlacing of experiences that form our days.  Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that they are there even when we can’t see them. I for one am trying to live that way again.

Wordless Wednesday, 1/25/2012

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Wordless Wednesday, 1/25/2012

Fire in the Ring, June 2011

Wordless Wednesday is a group of bloggers who give words a rest once a week.

Hey pretty and other stories from the battle of the bulge!

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“Hey pretty,” and other stories from the battle of the bulge!

A Girlboxing reader wrote about the problem of looking into the mirror and shaking her head a bit at the body that stared back at her.  That is a hard one to reconcile.  There we all are working our bottoms off, eating one pea at a time and going through all the truly difficult work-out stuff, yet because we don’t look like the women adorning the cover of Self magazine we steel ourselves with a sharp intake of breath every time we look at ourselves in the mirror.

It reminds me of the Mighty Aphrodite speech I used to give my friends back in the day when I was — heck, in my early 40s and really full of things!  (That’s another story for another day.)

I was going through a breast cancer scare at the time (luckily negative) — but went through one of those moments after the first mammo, when air seemed to be sucked out of the room into a kind of hush as the Radiologist and the Technician came back in to take yet another film.  Days later in the waiting room before surgery to remove a bunch of nasty looking calcifications, my two oldest forever friends we’re trying to distract me with tales from their love lives (never a good thing, I can assure you).

Now both were in my estimation beauties.  One had long blonde hair a body honed by a lifetime of tennis, racquetball, running, weight lifting and the most perfect shiksa legs you ever saw.  The other one had more of an “exotic” beauty and happened to be in one of her thinner than thin stages.  To remind you, we were all in your early 40s and yet all these two gorgeous women could talk about was how they hated dating because eventually they’d have to “show” their bodies to a new man.  What?!?

Girl in the Mirror, Picasso

Well, to say that I launched was an understatement, my basic point being you are Mighty Aphrodite, hear you roar!  Truly.  That body staring back at you in the mirror, the one with character and stories and loving feelings. The one that bore children or heartache. The one that fought illness. The one that gained and lost.  The one that worked out at five o’clock in the morning and ran in the rain.  The body with hints of ripples on your arms from slinging dumbbells or the fabulous movements of a Zumba class is, my friends, BEAUTIFUL.

Even when you hate that extra tire around your middle or my personal favorite, the “You’ve become one of those women,” statement from your doctor.  In my case it meant confronting how I’d become my grandmother. However, there is still deep beauty in the saggy skin and cottage cheese that combine to make YOUR fabulous thigh.  And to channel my grandmother even more you can go through the three stages of grief according to Lillian Miller:  first you cry, then you get up and wash your face, and then you do.   None of the seven stages nonsense for her.  Life is too damned short and has a way of making you 57 before you know it.

So Girlboxing friends please give yourselves a round of applause for where you are in life — and the next time you look in the mirror blow yourself a kiss and say, “Hey pretty,” it’ll work wonders for you!  I know that it did me.