Sometimes when you are working really hard at something, say writing a conference paper, training for your next fight or hitting your 47th non-stop morning at twisting your body in a pose, the goal still seems a million miles away from getting you anywhere. More to the point, and not exactly a marathoner’s wall, your world will feel upside down and a bit backwards, because no matter the effort that sense of achievement feels illusive.
I think of it having run into a friend at Gleason’s on Saturday who is in the midst of training for a fight. She looked strong, fit, and truly ready — and yet she also had that look that said, “wow, this is hard.” And is if her verbal constructions had hit into reverse, her far away gaze revealed the doubts that all of us feel when we are on the cusp of something. I’d have given her a hug if I could, but it wasn’t one of those moments. Rather what she needed was a pause to acknowledge her efforts and struggle; something akin to a moment of breath, where she could intake slowly allowing for the catch in the throat before forcing it all out to begin anew.
And that is how it is sometimes. We work with tremendous effort on our goals, but feel caught in a backwards swirl of mind movies that have us see our world upside down before we can shake the tree enough to right ourselves again.
Call it a raining dogs and cats moment and then move on — because when you are working that hard, you really, really know it, and should trust that you’re doing what you need to do to achieve your that goal.
What, are you just writing these for me? In that case, thanks. Because I’m totally here. Needed this. Keep on rocking it.
What Lisa said. 🙂 Another great one, GB.
You guys! Thanks! I’m writing to keep my a** in gear because like you both, I’m over-scheduled with a lot of stuff to take care of. The blog is teaching me that some parts of the day can feel like little islands of calm — least ways some of the time. And to the last point of your blog entry about what we look for in a blog (which I will comment on 😉 — it’s also the case of what the blogger feels in writing it, which is to take a bit of life and throw it up on the screen to share. It’s certainly what I feel when I read both of your blogs.
‘Hope the day is grand!