At Puffy’s, Demember 1996
The night I met Jed at Puffy’s Bar on Hudson Street, in Tribeca, the song, The Boy From New York City by the Ad Libs was playing. I hadn’t heard it in longer than I could remember, but walking into a bar that had such a great dancing beat to it had set my mood for the night and when Susan Dumois, the bartender, stepped out from behind the bar and started to dance with me, I knew the night was special.
In the blink of an eye, I sit in Jed’s room, Bach’s Suite No. 3 playing soothingly in the background as he sleeps, coughs, sleeps again.
We are at the end of his second week on Hospice.
I think I am located in it but perhaps not. I cry less. Feel less anxious, though if sleep is the measure, my anxiety comes through in the fitful hours of watching cat videos, and my new favorites the rescue beavers, Tulip, Stormy Rose, and the two tiny beaver kits, Blossom and Sprout.
I don’t write – except lists, and other easy stuff in my journal when I can take an hour to myself and sit somewhere.
Home hospice life with Jed, April 23, 2025
My sense of control comes from the stream of non-stop package deliveries of supplies for Jed. From the preparation of meals, adding Thickener, a product that literally thickens liquids to help a person with difficulty swallowing drink or eat their food. From shaving him with his electric razor careful to be gentle, and getting every hair I can find. From the notes I trade with his medical team.
What I have no control over is the relentless course of the disease. Of his sudden distress. Of his decline. Of his whispers. Of how my heart breaks from time to time.
I find the strength to face each day in the wee hours. And from dear, dear friends and family who send me their best wishes for which I will always be so, so very grateful.
Girlboxing 
I love you so very, very much.
Thank you dear Terri-Lynne. ❤️
Even those of us who have never met you or Jed send our love, support, and appreciation for your sharing. ~Anne
Thank you so much for your comment and your beautiful support. Best, Malissa
Oh, friend.
This has to be the hardest task in the world, and I’m so sorry that you have to go through it. And I’m glad he has you to do this with him; I hope the same is true when it’s my turn — whether I’m the one dying or I’m the one sitting/working/crying/remembering with a loved one who is dying. Many blessings on you in this difficult time. May you find many gifts in unexpected places. Sending love.
Lisa Creech Bledsoe
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Hey Lisa-you’ve got that right. This kind of stuff pierces the soul, but at the same time, it’s a privilege. You’re always in my corner … thank you, xoxo M
So good to connect to and savor the many sharp and meaningful memories that honor and perpetuate this deep and enduring love. May they always bolster your soul. You are an amazing life partner to Jed. It’s clear he is to you, too.
Thank you, Barbara. I appreciate your support.